An hour ago, a good friend of mine suddenly asked me how “we” were, during a conversation wherein the ‘how are you’ lines were answered. For a moment, I asked myself “Kamusta na nga ba kame?” I said we’re doing fine, somehow. So much had happened during summer. Most of it sucks. The worst so far. Then she asked again, ‘Ano naman pinagaawayan niyo?’ And again, I asked myself “teka, ano nga ba?” So I shared whatever I remembered was the reason of some fights we had.
While typing the reply, somehow, the feelings and emotions I had during the fights came back. My anger. My curiousity. My numbness. My stupidity. And more. But I can’t stop typing, for she is a special friend for the both of us. Although we’ve not been having constant communication now like before, we’re still friends. So after typing, I continued watching Game of Thrones while waiting for her reply.
She’s still at the hospital rn, I guess. Hope she’ll be well soon.
But here’s the thing kids, even if you thought you get over something, when a reminiscing happens, all the shit just comes back. For some it would be just for a moment. For some it would haunt them for days and nights. For some it would literally be their nightmare. I don’t know which am I. But I hate it everytime I need to tell the story again and again. Thinking that if something bad happens to me, I would voluntarily share it to my real friends at once, like a group message or group chat. So I wouldn’t have to remember every f*cking detail of it over and over again.
I guess I’m not the only one experiencing this, right? It’s like going back to your childhood days when you smell the scent of your childhood perfume. Or remembering the dramatic scene from a movie when you heard it’s soundtrack play.
Remembering things you don’t want to remember, it’s unavoidable. Well, at least for me, don’t know about you. So yea.
PS. Ang gwapo talaga ni Jon Snow omg 😍 hangover pa be sorry na. Oki.